The Wickety Whack Blog of the New Millenium!

So you lame wads of flesh (i.e. people), uni has inevitably started up yet again, but this time, with more action, more power and more gratuitous nudity than ever before! Yes, it's "University 2: Attack of the Campus" (title pending, we're still in discussion as how to have a compound of brick buildings "attack"... at the moment we're thinking alien death rays that cause seismic tremors beneath the campus foundations, causing them to topple and "attack" passing students or janitors... but like I said it's still being discussed).

Like Kyle's period, my first week back at uni has progressed swimmingly... although I'm still enrolled in the stupd arts degree (so stupd in fact it can't even spell "stupd"... idiot) but that should all be sorted out before too long ("too long" taking up to three years to sort, while my enrolment should be done in a matter of weeks).

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Stop it Josephine! (what a bitch, I'm trying to write some relevant stuff here and she's screwing it all up

So yeah, passing time waiting for my next class to start in... 15 min... write'n the blog... as you do... when you're passing time... passing time waiting for your class... to start... in about 15 minutes...

Ah, so what's new... Mitch's 21st last saturday (Mitch Svensk, not Mitchell House... he'd quite dead). I'm a slack bastard so I haven't gotten him a present yet... but it'll come... it'll come... and if it doesn't, I can always say that his 22nd birthday present was actually the 21st, then his 23rd will become his 22nd etc etc untill he's dead... possibly squished by a university campus.

Todays post was brought to you by the words: Baccanalia, and lascivious.

Posted by NoeL at 2:36 PM | Permalink | Comments

Q: When you hesitate before hitting snooze on your alarm clock, are you being lazy?

A: Well it all depends on your reasons for hesitating. If you hesitate because you're still deciding whether or not you like the sound of your alarm clock then I wouldn't say you're lazy... same thing goes if theres a good song on your radio. If you wake up to Hampton the Hampster and hesitate then yes, you are being lazy... in fact laziness wouldn't even come close to describing your situation. You'd have to be paralyzed or something. If you wake up to say the Go-Gos and hesitate because you take guilty pleasure in hearing "Our lips are sealed", then fair enough, I wont bust your chops... just make sure to turn it off if anyone else comes into the vicinity, then put on a big show about how shit that song is. Even if they say "But I like that song", don't admit it yourself! Not even if you happen to be one of the Go-Gos (infact that's all the more reason to deny it)... I wonder what they're up to these days... no doubt they've all starved to death, with their sealed lips and all...

On a completly different note, I ate toast in the shower.

On a different but not so obscure note, you might have a broken finger and were already leaning over to hit the button before you remembered it was broken, and you'd then have to flip around and use your toe or something... or possibly another non-broken finger... like off a Go-Go corpse maybe, if you happen to have one lying around (I got mine on ebay).

So, in conclusion, my answer is no. It isn't a good idea to eat toast in the shower... unless you like soggy toast.

Posted by NoeL at 10:04 AM | Permalink | Comments

Hey kids, I've been posting around the AGN forums a bit and I thought I'd share my views in a new Bloggish segment called "Trails of Thought from the AGN Think Tank" as you no doubt assumed from the title of this post... well if you didn't then... there you go.

First up we have the topic "What is truly up?"
It started with some stupid pre-pubescents pondering the defenition of "up". Is North up, or is up away from the Earth etc etc. Here's my two cents...

Say you were exactly between two large masses, and these were the only source of gravity. You'd be suspended between then because the gravitational forces would cancel each other out... where would "up" be? In this instance "up" doesnt exist, both directions are down, and you'd be "falling" towards two separate grounds (or from an outside frame of reference, there'd be two planetoids rushing toward you to squish you like a bug). If you were in that situation I doubt you'd be pondering the direction of "up", you'd be like "Oh my god there's two giant masses accelerating toward me!" and I dunno... maybe try and swim out of the way...

And that ends the first instalment of TOTFTAGNTT (wow, what a crappy acronym), I hope you enjoyed it thoroughly Mandi (you're probably the only person that reads it)... might do another profile question post...

Posted by NoeL at 9:54 AM | Permalink | Comments

For the last few weeks or so I've been trying to hammer some sense into stupid redneck gun-freaks (no offence). They're so utterly stupid they think thay should own a gun because an old bit of paper says they can, and they only want it so they can play with it in the first place. In the words of Napoleon Dynamite "Idiots!" (no offence). They are scum sucking faggots that don't seem to care that people are getting shot and killed, they just want to keep playing with their weapons. If you're a gun toting anti-hippy redneck hunter faggot, I hate you (offence meant that time). You are to your country what Crazy Frog is to music... you heard me... Crazy Frog... (then too)

For all those that want to get up to scratch with what I'm on about, read this (might take a while, but it's worth it)... I'm NoeL for anyone that doesn't know my alias.
http://www.armageddongames.net/showthread.php?t=89006&page=2&pp=25

And that is why rednecks are selfish pricks, putting their own enjoyment above peoples lives.

God bless America... because sure as fuck no-one else will.

Posted by NoeL at 1:56 PM | Permalink | Comments

This was written on the 27/12/05.

It's time to change. I need an outerskin makeover. We're told all the time that true beauty lies within, which is true, but what we're often not told is you can't catch a fish without a worm... or a lure, or a net or a spear or something. What I'm trying to say is that no matter how beautiful a person is on the inside, unless they're beautiful on the outside no-one will bother looking. I'm not talking about cosmetic good looks, I'm talking about charisma... presence... that stuff that takes peoples breath away. The stuff I'm currently lacking.

I got a message from Sara tonight. She said she wonders what may have happened if I'd had the courage to talk to her. I asked her what she would've said had I asked her out, and as I suspected she said no... but added that she would've appreciated the effort and perhaps reconsidered, which made a little light go on upstairs... my sister had just opened the fridge!

...

*tumbleweed rolls past*

...

But in all seriousness... I'd always wondered why in movies you see a popular school girl who's genuinly a nice person, but is dating a jock wanker who usuallt yurns out to be gay. I always wondered what girls see in faggots like that, and it dawned on me. They're not afraid to take what they want, and that confidence is obviously appealing enough to overshadow the fact that they're total jerks (until the end of the movie at least, when the girl matures and the guys doesn't... then they get their arse dumped).

This is definatly my biggest downfall, and the reason I'm a 20 year old guy that's never had a serious relationship. I've known for a while that I'm losing out because I hesitate... but it's more than that. I need a presence that'll get a girl interested, and I know it's in me somewhere because I have no trouble chatting up girls on the net. once I have the courage to say in real life what I say online, then I'll have no trouble getting some interest.

Am I too picky, or would I be short changing myself with a girl I'm not that interested in? There are a few girls around who I know have liked me in one way or another... more specifically the romantic way... but I've never felt the same way. I may like them a lot as friends, but have never felt anything more than that. Should I pursue it anyway and see if something develops, or would I just be lying to both of us?

At the moment I'm all out of romatic interests. There's no-one I know that I'm interested in. There was this Swedish chick at my RCG course and we were both checking each other out. I was going to give her my number as I left... but like always I chickened out. I don't know why... for some reason I percieve
'dangers' that aren't there. Even simple things like calling customer service I don't like doing. Why? I have a paranoid fear of making a fool of myself, and I really need to fuck it off 'cause it's killing me. This year I've only really liked two girls... one turned me down and the other would've too had I asked her. Maybe I get so scared about making a fool of myself around these girls that they don't get to see the real me... maybe I'm just falling for the wrong girls. Either way, it's no fun.

I had a great dream last night. Nothing dramatic happened, but I had a girl... and I loved it. Her name was... Rocel, I think (pronounced 'Rochelle'). She was attractive, but nothing really stunning... but she was a beautiful girl... with an obsessive ex called Alex who just couldn't get over losing her. He'd always bother us, never anything violent, but you could tell it was killing him to see us together. I felt sorry for him, but I was never going to give Rocel up... and she didn't want to go either, which was great. It was lovely to be with a girl that I liked and she liked me back... and nothing else matters.

There was another girl in the dream. Her name was Pippa and was very much 'modelled' after a girl from highschool called Ella. She was gorgeous, stunning, popular, free spirited, smart... and really nice. She's the kinda girl you couldn't date because she's so perfect you'd be so ridiculously over-protective that she'd feel trapped and end up leaving you. She's the nice girl on the arm of the jerk (as forementioned) but always positive and views everyone as equal. She's not above nor below anybody. She was so beautiful... but I was never romantically interested in her, for two reasons; one being the reason I just made about being over-protective and being paranoid about losing her, the second and greater reason was that I had Rocel. I had my own beautiful girl and was more than contempt with her, I had no need for anyone else.

I wondered what Pippa's life was like. She was so popular with the boys most of the girls hated her out of sheer jealousy, and she was so perfect she was intimidating to all but the most arrogant of guys... I don't know how happy she would've been with her life, I know I probably wouldn't want to be in her shoes. Girls hate her and the only guys that'll ask her out are wankers... and for what? For being so perfect. Poor girl... I hope she finds a nice guy to love... amazing how she manages to be so fresh and cheerful all the time... but on the flip side she always is fresh and cheerful, so maybe her life isn't so bad after all.

But back to me. I need to get some confidence, grow some balls and get my Rocel!

Posted by NoeL at 11:46 AM | Permalink | Comments

Allllllrighty thennnnnn!!!!

Yo punks, punkettes and cobblers (yes, I'm talking to you... Mr. Cobbler!), the age of pizza madness is here! *leaps, bounds and cheers in excitedness*

As of the Friday before last (Saturday came last, and that damned Sunday won it again ), I am now an official member of the Domino's family (I'm the little boy that lives with his stepmother and her boyfriend after she killed the boy's father/her husband and milked his ten million dollar estate from the very teets of the mother that suckled the boy (the father inherited his fortune from the boys mother, who had previously been killed by the father). In other words, it was lesbian breast milking all round). I'm a happy little little boy indeed! First shift's this Friday... should be able to get someone to cover for me.

I'm also lined up for a spot of work experience at the Bushwackers. Bit-o-bottle-o here, bit-o-barwork there... should be good.
*Insert long-winded joke about lesbians here*

On the dark side (aka the Nerd side) I've been sought after for my brilliant tilemaking skill. The creators of Zelda Classic (well, not the same guys perse, but other guys that are affiliated with those guys) are making a small MMORPG (he he, an oxymoron only nerds will come to appreciate) and I've been asked to do some sprite work for it. Some dude called Dechipher (either he doesn't know it's spelt "decipher" or he's got a lisp) saw my totally awesome, wicked, jungle-is-massive tile work posted at ye olde PureZC and said "Yes! Yes! Bring me this genious and a slice of cheese, post haste!" (to whom he was speaking to, I don't know). So yeah, I'm now on the development team drawing little 16x16 pixel men/women that will be controlled by a keyboard or some other input peripheral to do bouts of digital questing in cyberspace! Oh yes, I can hear the flapping of labia coming towards me as I speak... or type, rather.

Oh Oh! I saw words-on-the-screen-as-typed-by-Kally again last Friday (wow, lot's of "Friday"'s in this post)! I was very excited, hadn't seen words-on-the-screen-as-typed-by-Kally in ages! She's back at school, doing her bit for society... more than likely as hot as ever, despite the fact it's winter there... what a great kid, can't wait to see words-on-the-screen-as-typed-by-Kally again soon.

And so concludes the past events of the author of the Wickety-Whack Rubber Glove Feel Good Blog of the New Millenium, the awesomest, most gung-ho blog this side of 2000... I also had Christmas as the cousins, but that's irrelevant.

Cheerio!

Today's post was brought to you by the words: Lesbian, and of.

Posted by NoeL at 1:12 PM | Permalink | Comments

Ok, the title for this post isn't that appropriate ("of" is Czhecslovakian for "giant horse penis"), I'm actually talking about my new Nightwish compilation, in which the spoken lyrics of one of the tracks is "witness the beauty of the beast"...

Yeah... so... Good CD.

Now I'm sure all you are confused... converting MP3's to CD tracks. But remember back in the day when barely anyone had CD players and so they were copying CD's to cassetes? Evolution people, it's all about geography. I think I actually prefer this mix to my other CD of theirs, "Once"... lot more of a metal feel than the epic orchestratics of Once, as brilliant as they were/are... I'm sure Kyla will love it.

Been play'n heaps of InkLink lately, but that's quickly getting over-run with boot-happy faggots that think they own the game. If you don't have a big gang of fellow InkLinkers with you be expected to get booted out of just about every room. It's quite sad really, I love that game. Go check it out, like online pictionary.

Did/done my RSA/RCG on Tuesday/Wednesday... was very boring/unexcitable. I've got a job interview/evaluation today/this arvo at 3. Should/will go alright, pretty much guaranteed the job/position. Should I give up this slash/fest? Ok.

Yeah, Mandi's big partay... sorry, "party" ("partay" of course being a verb) next Wednesesesday (sorry, my "es" key got stuck... eseseses). If I get the job (which I will) I might have to work then, which means missing the party, which means I'll be stuck at work, which means I'll be earning money, which means good, which means bad for Mandi, which means bad for me, which means aardvarks sole my stapler, which means I can no longer staple, which means the flamingos can't build their spaceship. So you see, dilemmas all round, especially for the flamingos... they had their hearts set on visiting the sun.

Well, I may as well leave it there.. just a few quick words:

fast, speedy, rapid, swift, nippy, zirtec-like

Jesus 2000 OUT!!!!

Posted by NoeL at 2:07 PM | Permalink | Comments

Had a great dream this morning, but it was in that stage where you wake up, then go back to sleep and dream, then wake up, then go back to sleep and have a different dream, then wake up etc etc so I'm not sure where this one actually started. But it was great anyway, it had Nintendo, pornstars and werewolves... what more could you ask?

I can't remember that much (I usually have heaps vivid dreams that I can remember to a T) but at one stage (may have been a previous dream) Mandi and I were checking out Chicken's new place and she needed some milk. So we went to get some but there was some carnival at the shops for something or another and we had to buy it by the glass and it was five bucks for three glasses and nobody was impressed.

With that lame part out of the way, the other part I can remember (also the cool part) Aria Giovanni (my favourite pornstar) was trying to resurrect some tv show that got axed, which was basically ordinary people coming on and showing off their pinks (no wonder it was axed). She was out hunting for signatures to get this show back up (she was gunna host it as well) and was real vicious about it, she became the Starwolf mercenary team (from Lylat Wars) and I had to fight off Pigma, Andrew and Leon, then grabbed Aria/Starwolf by her collar and was beating her/him up, and she was trying to pursuade this girl (who I think was supposed to be a friend of mine) to sign the petition, and she/he offered her a spot on the show. Anywho, my friend gave in and signed, and Aria got her show.

First episode, they had that mexican chick from Survivor on, and she was about to get a boob job. So they had her on before the op, and after the op, and she got massive, square ugly-pornstars-that-have-to-rely-on-ginormous-tits-to-get-work implants, they were so gross.

Then werewolves busted in and started causing a ruckus! They were smashing shit and killing people, and there were people trapped in the room next to us, and Mandi had to call someone for some reason so she pulled out this thing that looked like an old school computer keyboard/calculator. I said something about the 8 and the 9 looking too similar and we got in an argument about old keyboards having built in calculators in them... it was SOOO much more important that those lame werewolves.

Anywho, I know that dream sounds pretty lame, but it was enjoyable none the less. I love Aria, she's so hot :P Real boobs too.

Posted by NoeL at 11:40 AM | Permalink | Comments