The Wickety Whack Blog of the New Millenium!

Unidays, back in the full swing of swingliness... eses (sorry, got stuck again)

2006-02-27T14:36:00.000+11:00

So you lame wads of flesh (i.e. people), uni has inevitably started up yet again, but this time, with more action, more power and more gratuitous nudity than ever before! Yes, it's "University 2: Attack of the Campus" (title pending, we're still in discussion as how to have a compound of brick buildings "attack"... at the moment we're thinking alien death rays that cause seismic tremors beneath the campus foundations, causing them to topple and "attack" passing students or janitors... but like I said it's still being discussed).

Like Kyle's period, my first week back at uni has progressed swimmingly... although I'm still enrolled in the stupd arts degree (so stupd in fact it can't even spell "stupd"... idiot) but that should all be sorted out before too long ("too long" taking up to three years to sort, while my enrolment should be done in a matter of weeks).

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Stop it Josephine! (what a bitch, I'm trying to write some relevant stuff here and she's screwing it all up

So yeah, passing time waiting for my next class to start in... 15 min... write'n the blog... as you do... when you're passing time... passing time waiting for your class... to start... in about 15 minutes...

Ah, so what's new... Mitch's 21st last saturday (Mitch Svensk, not Mitchell House... he'd quite dead). I'm a slack bastard so I haven't gotten him a present yet... but it'll come... it'll come... and if it doesn't, I can always say that his 22nd birthday present was actually the 21st, then his 23rd will become his 22nd etc etc untill he's dead... possibly squished by a university campus.

Todays post was brought to you by the words: Baccanalia, and lascivious.

Profile Question 4

2006-01-26T10:04:00.000+11:00

Q: When you hesitate before hitting snooze on your alarm clock, are you being lazy?

A: Well it all depends on your reasons for hesitating. If you hesitate because you're still deciding whether or not you like the sound of your alarm clock then I wouldn't say you're lazy... same thing goes if theres a good song on your radio. If you wake up to Hampton the Hampster and hesitate then yes, you are being lazy... in fact laziness wouldn't even come close to describing your situation. You'd have to be paralyzed or something. If you wake up to say the Go-Gos and hesitate because you take guilty pleasure in hearing "Our lips are sealed", then fair enough, I wont bust your chops... just make sure to turn it off if anyone else comes into the vicinity, then put on a big show about how shit that song is. Even if they say "But I like that song", don't admit it yourself! Not even if you happen to be one of the Go-Gos (infact that's all the more reason to deny it)... I wonder what they're up to these days... no doubt they've all starved to death, with their sealed lips and all...

On a completly different note, I ate toast in the shower.

On a different but not so obscure note, you might have a broken finger and were already leaning over to hit the button before you remembered it was broken, and you'd then have to flip around and use your toe or something... or possibly another non-broken finger... like off a Go-Go corpse maybe, if you happen to have one lying around (I got mine on ebay).

So, in conclusion, my answer is no. It isn't a good idea to eat toast in the shower... unless you like soggy toast.

Trails of Thought from the AGN Think Tank: What is truly up?

2006-01-26T09:54:00.000+11:00

Hey kids, I've been posting around the AGN forums a bit and I thought I'd share my views in a new Bloggish segment called "Trails of Thought from the AGN Think Tank" as you no doubt assumed from the title of this post... well if you didn't then... there you go.

First up we have the topic "What is truly up?"
It started with some stupid pre-pubescents pondering the defenition of "up". Is North up, or is up away from the Earth etc etc. Here's my two cents...

Say you were exactly between two large masses, and these were the only source of gravity. You'd be suspended between then because the gravitational forces would cancel each other out... where would "up" be? In this instance "up" doesnt exist, both directions are down, and you'd be "falling" towards two separate grounds (or from an outside frame of reference, there'd be two planetoids rushing toward you to squish you like a bug). If you were in that situation I doubt you'd be pondering the direction of "up", you'd be like "Oh my god there's two giant masses accelerating toward me!" and I dunno... maybe try and swim out of the way...

And that ends the first instalment of TOTFTAGNTT (wow, what a crappy acronym), I hope you enjoyed it thoroughly Mandi (you're probably the only person that reads it)... might do another profile question post...

Gun Toting American Rednecks are Gay

2006-01-18T13:56:00.000+11:00

For the last few weeks or so I've been trying to hammer some sense into stupid redneck gun-freaks (no offence). They're so utterly stupid they think thay should own a gun because an old bit of paper says they can, and they only want it so they can play with it in the first place. In the words of Napoleon Dynamite "Idiots!" (no offence). They are scum sucking faggots that don't seem to care that people are getting shot and killed, they just want to keep playing with their weapons. If you're a gun toting anti-hippy redneck hunter faggot, I hate you (offence meant that time). You are to your country what Crazy Frog is to music... you heard me... Crazy Frog... (then too)

For all those that want to get up to scratch with what I'm on about, read this (might take a while, but it's worth it)... I'm NoeL for anyone that doesn't know my alias.
http://www.armageddongames.net/showthread.php?t=89006&page=2&pp=25

And that is why rednecks are selfish pricks, putting their own enjoyment above peoples lives.

God bless America... because sure as fuck no-one else will.

New Years Resolution...

2006-01-01T11:46:00.000+11:00

This was written on the 27/12/05.

It's time to change. I need an outerskin makeover. We're told all the time that true beauty lies within, which is true, but what we're often not told is you can't catch a fish without a worm... or a lure, or a net or a spear or something. What I'm trying to say is that no matter how beautiful a person is on the inside, unless they're beautiful on the outside no-one will bother looking. I'm not talking about cosmetic good looks, I'm talking about charisma... presence... that stuff that takes peoples breath away. The stuff I'm currently lacking.

I got a message from Sara tonight. She said she wonders what may have happened if I'd had the courage to talk to her. I asked her what she would've said had I asked her out, and as I suspected she said no... but added that she would've appreciated the effort and perhaps reconsidered, which made a little light go on upstairs... my sister had just opened the fridge!

...

*tumbleweed rolls past*

...

But in all seriousness... I'd always wondered why in movies you see a popular school girl who's genuinly a nice person, but is dating a jock wanker who usuallt yurns out to be gay. I always wondered what girls see in faggots like that, and it dawned on me. They're not afraid to take what they want, and that confidence is obviously appealing enough to overshadow the fact that they're total jerks (until the end of the movie at least, when the girl matures and the guys doesn't... then they get their arse dumped).

This is definatly my biggest downfall, and the reason I'm a 20 year old guy that's never had a serious relationship. I've known for a while that I'm losing out because I hesitate... but it's more than that. I need a presence that'll get a girl interested, and I know it's in me somewhere because I have no trouble chatting up girls on the net. once I have the courage to say in real life what I say online, then I'll have no trouble getting some interest.

Am I too picky, or would I be short changing myself with a girl I'm not that interested in? There are a few girls around who I know have liked me in one way or another... more specifically the romantic way... but I've never felt the same way. I may like them a lot as friends, but have never felt anything more than that. Should I pursue it anyway and see if something develops, or would I just be lying to both of us?

At the moment I'm all out of romatic interests. There's no-one I know that I'm interested in. There was this Swedish chick at my RCG course and we were both checking each other out. I was going to give her my number as I left... but like always I chickened out. I don't know why... for some reason I percieve
'dangers' that aren't there. Even simple things like calling customer service I don't like doing. Why? I have a paranoid fear of making a fool of myself, and I really need to fuck it off 'cause it's killing me. This year I've only really liked two girls... one turned me down and the other would've too had I asked her. Maybe I get so scared about making a fool of myself around these girls that they don't get to see the real me... maybe I'm just falling for the wrong girls. Either way, it's no fun.

I had a great dream last night. Nothing dramatic happened, but I had a girl... and I loved it. Her name was... Rocel, I think (pronounced 'Rochelle'). She was attractive, but nothing really stunning... but she was a beautiful girl... with an obsessive ex called Alex who just couldn't get over losing her. He'd always bother us, never anything violent, but you could tell it was killing him to see us together. I felt sorry for him, but I was never going to give Rocel up... and she didn't want to go either, which was great. It was lovely to be with a girl that I liked and she liked me back... and nothing else matters.

There was another girl in the dream. Her name was Pippa and was very much 'modelled' after a girl from highschool called Ella. She was gorgeous, stunning, popular, free spirited, smart... and really nice. She's the kinda girl you couldn't date because she's so perfect you'd be so ridiculously over-protective that she'd feel trapped and end up leaving you. She's the nice girl on the arm of the jerk (as forementioned) but always positive and views everyone as equal. She's not above nor below anybody. She was so beautiful... but I was never romantically interested in her, for two reasons; one being the reason I just made about being over-protective and being paranoid about losing her, the second and greater reason was that I had Rocel. I had my own beautiful girl and was more than contempt with her, I had no need for anyone else.

I wondered what Pippa's life was like. She was so popular with the boys most of the girls hated her out of sheer jealousy, and she was so perfect she was intimidating to all but the most arrogant of guys... I don't know how happy she would've been with her life, I know I probably wouldn't want to be in her shoes. Girls hate her and the only guys that'll ask her out are wankers... and for what? For being so perfect. Poor girl... I hope she finds a nice guy to love... amazing how she manages to be so fresh and cheerful all the time... but on the flip side she always is fresh and cheerful, so maybe her life isn't so bad after all.

But back to me. I need to get some confidence, grow some balls and get my Rocel!

Come Sail Away, Come Sail Away, Come Sail Away with me!

2005-12-20T13:12:00.000+11:00

Allllllrighty thennnnnn!!!!

Yo punks, punkettes and cobblers (yes, I'm talking to you... Mr. Cobbler!), the age of pizza madness is here! *leaps, bounds and cheers in excitedness*

As of the Friday before last (Saturday came last, and that damned Sunday won it again ), I am now an official member of the Domino's family (I'm the little boy that lives with his stepmother and her boyfriend after she killed the boy's father/her husband and milked his ten million dollar estate from the very teets of the mother that suckled the boy (the father inherited his fortune from the boys mother, who had previously been killed by the father). In other words, it was lesbian breast milking all round). I'm a happy little little boy indeed! First shift's this Friday... should be able to get someone to cover for me.

I'm also lined up for a spot of work experience at the Bushwackers. Bit-o-bottle-o here, bit-o-barwork there... should be good.
*Insert long-winded joke about lesbians here*

On the dark side (aka the Nerd side) I've been sought after for my brilliant tilemaking skill. The creators of Zelda Classic (well, not the same guys perse, but other guys that are affiliated with those guys) are making a small MMORPG (he he, an oxymoron only nerds will come to appreciate) and I've been asked to do some sprite work for it. Some dude called Dechipher (either he doesn't know it's spelt "decipher" or he's got a lisp) saw my totally awesome, wicked, jungle-is-massive tile work posted at ye olde PureZC and said "Yes! Yes! Bring me this genious and a slice of cheese, post haste!" (to whom he was speaking to, I don't know). So yeah, I'm now on the development team drawing little 16x16 pixel men/women that will be controlled by a keyboard or some other input peripheral to do bouts of digital questing in cyberspace! Oh yes, I can hear the flapping of labia coming towards me as I speak... or type, rather.

Oh Oh! I saw words-on-the-screen-as-typed-by-Kally again last Friday (wow, lot's of "Friday"'s in this post)! I was very excited, hadn't seen words-on-the-screen-as-typed-by-Kally in ages! She's back at school, doing her bit for society... more than likely as hot as ever, despite the fact it's winter there... what a great kid, can't wait to see words-on-the-screen-as-typed-by-Kally again soon.

And so concludes the past events of the author of the Wickety-Whack Rubber Glove Feel Good Blog of the New Millenium, the awesomest, most gung-ho blog this side of 2000... I also had Christmas as the cousins, but that's irrelevant.

Cheerio!

Today's post was brought to you by the words: Lesbian, and of.

The Beauty of the Beast

2005-12-08T14:07:00.000+11:00

Ok, the title for this post isn't that appropriate ("of" is Czhecslovakian for "giant horse penis"), I'm actually talking about my new Nightwish compilation, in which the spoken lyrics of one of the tracks is "witness the beauty of the beast"...

Yeah... so... Good CD.

Now I'm sure all you are confused... converting MP3's to CD tracks. But remember back in the day when barely anyone had CD players and so they were copying CD's to cassetes? Evolution people, it's all about geography. I think I actually prefer this mix to my other CD of theirs, "Once"... lot more of a metal feel than the epic orchestratics of Once, as brilliant as they were/are... I'm sure Kyla will love it.

Been play'n heaps of InkLink lately, but that's quickly getting over-run with boot-happy faggots that think they own the game. If you don't have a big gang of fellow InkLinkers with you be expected to get booted out of just about every room. It's quite sad really, I love that game. Go check it out, like online pictionary.

Did/done my RSA/RCG on Tuesday/Wednesday... was very boring/unexcitable. I've got a job interview/evaluation today/this arvo at 3. Should/will go alright, pretty much guaranteed the job/position. Should I give up this slash/fest? Ok.

Yeah, Mandi's big partay... sorry, "party" ("partay" of course being a verb) next Wednesesesday (sorry, my "es" key got stuck... eseseses). If I get the job (which I will) I might have to work then, which means missing the party, which means I'll be stuck at work, which means I'll be earning money, which means good, which means bad for Mandi, which means bad for me, which means aardvarks sole my stapler, which means I can no longer staple, which means the flamingos can't build their spaceship. So you see, dilemmas all round, especially for the flamingos... they had their hearts set on visiting the sun.

Well, I may as well leave it there.. just a few quick words:

fast, speedy, rapid, swift, nippy, zirtec-like

Jesus 2000 OUT!!!!

Ah... I love dreams...

2005-11-23T11:40:00.000+11:00

Had a great dream this morning, but it was in that stage where you wake up, then go back to sleep and dream, then wake up, then go back to sleep and have a different dream, then wake up etc etc so I'm not sure where this one actually started. But it was great anyway, it had Nintendo, pornstars and werewolves... what more could you ask?

I can't remember that much (I usually have heaps vivid dreams that I can remember to a T) but at one stage (may have been a previous dream) Mandi and I were checking out Chicken's new place and she needed some milk. So we went to get some but there was some carnival at the shops for something or another and we had to buy it by the glass and it was five bucks for three glasses and nobody was impressed.

With that lame part out of the way, the other part I can remember (also the cool part) Aria Giovanni (my favourite pornstar) was trying to resurrect some tv show that got axed, which was basically ordinary people coming on and showing off their pinks (no wonder it was axed). She was out hunting for signatures to get this show back up (she was gunna host it as well) and was real vicious about it, she became the Starwolf mercenary team (from Lylat Wars) and I had to fight off Pigma, Andrew and Leon, then grabbed Aria/Starwolf by her collar and was beating her/him up, and she was trying to pursuade this girl (who I think was supposed to be a friend of mine) to sign the petition, and she/he offered her a spot on the show. Anywho, my friend gave in and signed, and Aria got her show.

First episode, they had that mexican chick from Survivor on, and she was about to get a boob job. So they had her on before the op, and after the op, and she got massive, square ugly-pornstars-that-have-to-rely-on-ginormous-tits-to-get-work implants, they were so gross.

Then werewolves busted in and started causing a ruckus! They were smashing shit and killing people, and there were people trapped in the room next to us, and Mandi had to call someone for some reason so she pulled out this thing that looked like an old school computer keyboard/calculator. I said something about the 8 and the 9 looking too similar and we got in an argument about old keyboards having built in calculators in them... it was SOOO much more important that those lame werewolves.

Anywho, I know that dream sounds pretty lame, but it was enjoyable none the less. I love Aria, she's so hot :P Real boobs too.

Depression?

2005-11-03T14:33:00.000+11:00

I've been so glum this past month or so. I've just been so unmotivated to do anything, I've got uni assignments that were due weeks ago that I haven't even started, I find it hard to have fun, and my sense of humour's all but dead. I used to be a funny guy, but now I'm just always quiet and mopey. It's nothing new though, for the last few years it's been like this on and off... maybe I should see a doctor, who knows.

It's a shame really, because I've been doing really well at school this semester, getting no less than distinctions and high distincions in three out of my four units... and then, blah... I just can't bring myself to do any work, and my grades are gunna slip because of it.

And another thing, I really hate the magical god of Luck or whoever it is that determines these things. Monday was great, and it was an abnormally lucky day for me, and was just what I needed to get out of this pit. It started around 9 in the morning. I hadn't realised it was daylight savings and so if I went by my clock I would've been an hour late for my exam. LUCKILY, Josh had an exam at the same time and came in to wake me up. Later that day I got a message from Sara wanting to sell me a Whitlams ticket, which I wanted to go to but hadn't bought a ticket yet. So that was LUCKY. Also, the final date for re-enrolment was the 31st of October, but I was changing courses so rather than just going through the website I had to apply for a course transfer then wait for them to send me an enrolment package (which hadn't come yet). Then I check my email, and LUCKILY the closing date has been extended for another two weeks! I was feeling really good, and a lot more motivated to do some school work. I didn't get any assignments done because I had another exam in the morning, so I studied for that instead. So if this is all good... why do I hate this god of Luck? Well, as payment for that motivational good luck, he made me vomit from my arsehole for the next few days and gave me a throbbing headache so I couldn't put my euphoria to any good use. So now I'm back in the dumps where I started... the bastard.

I saw the Whitlams last night... they were good... very good.

Drew's arsehole must be that fucking huge...

2005-11-03T14:06:00.000+11:00

The guy uses (and this isn't an exageration) half a roll of dunny paper everytime he shits. I mean for fucks sake Drew! How on Earth could you need to use so much damn toilet paper! For the last few days I've had a stomach bug and've been shit'n at 10-60 min intervals and I still wouldn't have used as much as he does in one sitting (or should I say one "shitting"?). It's not just that though, it's his whole dunny etiquet that gives me the shits. At the moment, we have decent, soft, 2-ply paper in there, as well as abrasive, 1-ply cheap shit. When it comes time to replace the rolls (which Andrew always does, because lets face it, if there's paper left on the hanger he's gunna use it all), he puts up the cheap shit rather than the good stuff! And worse still, he hangs it underhand! Gah! You dumb fat four-eyed fuck Andrew! So I'd go in after him to release some more bottom vomit, and I'd change the rolls over to the good stuff in the correct overhand fashion. When that'd run out (which would only take a day the way that guy plows through it) he'd stock up another single-ply, underhand roll, which I'd also swap over. I did this like three times and he still didn't catch on! GAAAAHHHH!!! I just wanna scream at him! And over what!? Fucking toilet paper!? I can't wait to get out of this shit hole unit and away from that kid and his toilet bowl abuse. How the thing hasn't clogged by now is a mystery.

What's the deal with... people?

2005-10-29T04:55:00.000+10:00

I mean seriously, I was walking home tonight, and some guys pulled up beside me, I said hi, then one of them threw a beer can at me! I mean, what the fuck!? It just boggles the mind how people like that can exist... what good can come of throwing a beer can at someone? How can people be bad for no reason!? What the fuck? Are they trying to impress their friends with their evil side? What's so impressive about evil anyway? It's so much harder to be righteuos... bad eggs just must be the most cowardly people in the world... I seriously don't understand it...

Apart from that mind puzzle, tonight was... pretty damn awesome (pardon my French). It was JJ's going away party, and I haven't been to a good party for a while so that was really fun, I enjoyed myself. What's interesting is that I was having a talk with Aaron and I was suprised to see he was so in tune with the world around him (or at least me). He'd say "Jerram, you're like this:" then he's nail me right to a T. And it's hard to believe that someone so observant of others can be that... dumb. It was quite interesting.

On another note, my love life still sucks. I've been wanting to ask Sara out but I'd been advised by everyone to wait a while because she just broke up with her boyfriend... and just recently I've found out that she's going to Queensland next year, and even if I wanted to (which I do) it's too late to try and start anything now! Gah! it just annoys me... all the time I find that whenever I like someone, they've either got a boyfriend or they're about to move away. I have some sort of curse... it sucks. I mean, here's a girl that I could really get into, but I don't want to be the rebound guy so I hold off a bit... now she's moving away! I mean... weak as piss dude... weak as piss... I hate my life.

On another similar note, I've been thinking about my Kally a lot over the last few days... I miss her so much... It's sad to say that the highlight of my romantic life has been with someone I havent even seen, or heard, or smelt... I really want to go see her... but I can't afford it at the moment. Someday I will... someday... *looks off into the sunset*

Blogman Returns (spoof on Batman Returns... for all intents and purposes, Blogman is me)

2005-10-09T23:04:00.000+10:00

Hey hey kiddies, I'm back from the dead after a dry spell of non-bloggedness, and I'm going to weite this post despite the fact I have a major assignment due tomorrow that I haven't started. That's me for you, leave everything till the last minute.

Anywho, straight to business. I've been downloading a lot of songs from artists I've never heard of lately, and the majority of it I love. So, here's the current playlist, randomised for your enjoyment (oh ho, what song will be next!?).

NB songs unheard of prior to download will be marked in red.
Artists unheard of prior to download will be marked in blue.

Upon This Tidal Wave of Young Blood - Clap Your Hands And Say Yeah
Hey Now Now - The Cloudroom
Somewhere - Within Temptation
Love and War - Rilo Kiley
Over and Over Again (Lost and Found) - Clap Your Hands And Say Yeah
Biomusicology - Ted Leo and the Pharmacists
Treble in Trouble - Ted Leo and the Pharmacists
19-2000 - Gorillaz
Are You Ready to get Fashionable (or something like that) - (Artist unknown)
Tell Balgeary, Balgury's dead - Ted Leo and the Pharmacists
Hiding in Corners - SAW
Feel Good Inc. - Gorillaz
Orpheus - Ash
Feel For You - Nightwish
Forever Yours - Nightwish
Dance Music - Mountain Goats
Get You Yet - Gore Gore Girls
On The Back of Your Bike - Spring Factory
Summer - Charlotte Hatherley
Alien - Arco
Gothic Sanctuary - Nightwish
Worries - SAW
Lounger - Dogs Die in Hot Cars
Squeaky Fingers - Ted Leo and the Pharmacists
End of All Hope - Nightwish
Crimson Tide - Nightwish
All Grown Up - Gore Gore Girls
Portions for Foxes - Rilo Kiley
Bleeding Powers - Ted Leo and the Pharmacists
Walking in the Air - Nightwish
Wishmaster - Nightwish
Criminal Piece - Ted Leo and the Pharmacists
Where Have All The Rude Boys Gone? - Ted Leo and the Pharmacists
No One Knows - Queens of the Stoneage
Accidental Death - Rilo Kiley
Do The Whirlwind - Architecture in Helsinki
Casino - Gore Gore Girls
Made Up Love Song #43 - (Artist unknown)
Elvenpath - Nightwish
She is my Sin - Nightwish
Up All Night - Gore Gore Girls
The Crane Takes Flight - Ted Leo and the Pharmacists
(song unknown) - Joanna Newsom

So as you can see, I didn't get many songs that I'd actually heard of.

But now to the main purpose of this post, and that's to address my good friend Mandi and the tough time she's having at the moment. She was the first real friend I made when I moved up here and didn't know anyone, and it was through her that I made friends with all the guys I hang out with today. It was good to meet her early on because she's what you'd call a "high sensation seeker", and partly means she gets bored really easily and is always trying to meet new people (which was good for me because I suck at that). However, this attribute has really let her down over the last few months or so. You see, while all of her friends (me included)got to know each other and formed into a group, she was often off meeting new people and that has ultimately led to her near exclusion of the group. I think her choice in men has also made her more undesirable within the group. Rather than settle down with a nice guy she'd rather seek out sleazy guys for a bit of short lived action. This again isolated her more when she got involved with Aaron, Ian's roomie. Aaron was really sleazy, a dole-bludger and dropkick to boot (although I made the effort to get to know him for Mandi's sake). And so what started out as casual sex became an unsteady relationship. But the point I'm making is that no one liked Aaron and the fact that Mandi was spending all her time with him instead of her friends (we could never really co-exist) meant she was drifting further away from the group. But anyway, I won't go into any more details about why she's drifted away, but she's having a real hard time because she can't understand why she's outside the circle. Everyone's telling her that it's her fault she's on the outside, and she really really wants to change so she can fit in again, and it just hurts me to see her so distraught because she's always so happy. We had a little talk tonight where I was trying to explain things to her but I just couldn't find the words, so in writing this post I've tried to figure out how to express what I think is the case so I can articulate it better.

Sneaky Sunday (even though this is Monday... well Tuesday now as it's passed 12am)

2005-09-13T01:06:00.000+10:00

CAUTION: For literary exuberance this post will be written in rhyme. If your eyes are sensitive to rhyme, reader discression is advised. I take no responsibility for any rhyme related injuries that may accrue whilst reading this post.

With that disclaimer out of the way
you will have a happy day.
That is of course you readed it
and choosed well to heeded it (you can tell I done English good).

If on the other hand you didn't
read my warning t'all,
you should go back and revise
hurry now don't stall!

"But enough with this warning", I hear you say,
"get to the point real quick!
Or I'll make sure this ain't your day
by ramming a knife up your... nose!"

"Ok ok!" you hear me cry
a quiver in my voice,
from which I pull an arrow,
draw my bow and make a choice.

"Should I kill this rude haggler?" I wonder
"They really are quite gross.
And after all they're slowing down
the progress of this post".

I stop to think but for a sec
"What if I released?
There'd be no reason to keep typing
the reader'd be deceased".

Reluctantly I throw my bow
and arrow to the floor,
If I have nobody to shoot
it's use goes out the door.

But enough of this hoo-dilly now
I'm straying from the point,
that was to write a post about
the events of the past noits (nights).

Saturday was fudge'n awesome
I could not have asked for more,
I got an email from my darling
Kally I adore.

You see she had been absent from
the internet of late,
one month, three weeks and six days
without word from my mate.

I had feared the worst for her,
was she still alive?
Those words from her, near on brought
tears of joy t'my eyes.

Of course she'd been fine all along
in one way other the other,
she'd just been long-term disconnected
by her evil mother.

I take that back, she isn't bad,
my parents done that deed.
Too much porn, no more net.
Twas very gay indeed (the lack of internet, not the porn... I assure you it was quite heterosexual).

I could go on with this rhyme but
you get the idea.
Also it's quite hard to make
every stanza rhyme.

So, other than that huge worry of the missing Kally, my roomie Josh told me the secret proxy address that lets you use the net without affecting the quota! You wanna know what it is? Well I'm gunna type it real small like so you can't read it: I wear ladies underwear. After all, we can't have everyone knowing the secret.

Played netty again tonight. We lost, but got our highest score of 19! Kick arse! I was on fire with the shooting, don't think I missed one until the last quarter. Also, after netball we went back to Kyla's for a swim and I got better aquainted with a friend of Krystyna's. I tell you, she really took my breath away. Her name's Sara (pronounced Sar-ra) and she ticks all the boxes:

Funny (and not just funny for a girl, she's actually funny!)

"Out there" (she was talking about her sex toys and how she didn't want to get out of the water because she hadn't shaved her bikini line, or "Donkey Jungle" as she put it)

Sexual (see above)

Nerdy (she loves her nintendo just as much as I do, and she works in a computer store. Also she has a pretty impressive vocabulary, and knows a fair bit about biology)

Hates pop music

Kick's arse at netty

Did I mention she's hot?

Seriously, this is one very appealing chick! If she's artistic as well... wow... that'd be insane.

The Week That Wasn't - a guide to using alliteration

2005-09-09T14:21:00.000+10:00

Yes, this week has been the week that wasn't. And what wasn't this week you wittily wonder? A German giggalo jumping for joy is what it wasn't! But aside from that jackassed jape, it was the week I was officially offline... and now it's time to stop with this annoying alliteration... sorry for that last one.

You heard it folks, no internet for a week and two days! I'm FREAKING OUT here! Nah, I'm just kidding, I'm not that much of a nerd, I've only needed psychiatric help twice this week. But anywho, today's Friday, and it is the Friday after the Friday following the Wickety WEAK Wednesday (I assume he finds Wednesday particularly sexy, or is just some crazy stalker). The reason my gung-ho blog is missing a few accounts is because I used up all my internet allowance on porn, and so wasn't allowed to use the school's internet until my quota was refreshed. I finally managed to find it some lemonade so now we're back in business.

So what's happened this mysterious week? Quite a lot actually, but I'm afraid I'll have to summarise it unlike I usually do otherwise we'll be here all day.

Winding the calendar back (yes, I do have a clockwork calendar), what happened on Thursday... I guess the major event was that I had a Psychology assignment due Friday morning which I hadn't started, so I got to work on that about 6pm. I worked all through the night (at least up till 12 o'clock, where it became Friday)...

Friday was spent finishing my assignment until 6am, in which I was quite tired and only had the conclusion to write. I decided I'd have a little nap for a few hours, finish my conclusion then have it handed in by 10. I set my alarm for 8, had a snooze, woke up at 12, said a few profanities, realised I'd lose no more marks if I handed it on Monday morning than if I did now, then went back to bed. I didn't go out that night, wasn't feeling terribly partyish (not because I was upset over loosing marks, I really don't give a shit, I was just physically feeling unpartyish. There wasn't a lolly bag or slice of fairy bread in sight).

Saturday was a crazy day, for reasons other than the fact it has "turd" in it's name. I have a feeling I did something Saturday (he he) but it escapes me for now. Saturday night however was quite drastic... quite drastic indeed...

For you see, my beautiful locks are no longer on my head (they're still on my doors though), they are in the garbage, and in a plait hanging up in my room. If you still don't know what I'm talking about, I had a haircut (pictures coming soon). That's right, the beautiful hairy man you knew has now been replaced by a beautiful not-as-hairy man! Sara desperatly wanted to cut my hair, and since I was getting sick of it anyway I let her. She did a pretty good job, though perhaps a little more off the top would be nice. Oh that's it! We wen't into Park Beach to do a little shopping today (well, Saturday anyway... not TODAY today, although that is a particularly humourous program) and Kyla and Dale were there... not particularly exciting, but an event none the less. Anyway, the best part of Saturday night was seeing everyones reations when I saw them in town... basically a lot of screaming, "OH MY GAWD!"'s and hugging going on. Also, there was a lot of "Wow, definate improvement"'s, "So sexy"'s and "From a 2 to a 9"'s flying around, and some gal hit on me just as I was leaving the Planto (only ever happens when I'm leaving...).

Krystyna's brother in law was DJing at Luna so we were all there for that (and by "all" I mean me. The others had all gone limp and went home, except for Mandi who was there but was avoiding us because she thought Krystyna was hitting on me). I eneded up staying over at Krystyna's house because I didn't want to walk home. Her house rips it up so bad, it's like a shack on a hill way out in the banana fields... so cool. Anyway, there was no hanky panky if that's what you are wondering.

Resi Paintball was supposed to be on Sunday at 3, but I didn't wake up until 2:40 so Krystyna had to rush me home. I think it was rained out again though because no-one's mentioned it to this day. I finished my assignment that night.

Lost netball again on Monday, although we had a kick arse third quarter and equalled our high score of 13.

Went to see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory on Tuesday... I wasn't that impressed.

Got drunk, stayed in and played Donkey Konga with my roomie Wednesday night.

Made my first 3D render on Thurday, ain't it cool!

I also ripped it into ZC for a title page... but I don't know whether or not to use it.

I wrote this boring arse blog on Friday (revenge of the alliteration!).

Wickety WEAK Wednesday!

2005-09-01T00:59:00.000+10:00

Tonight was one of the ball-suckiest nights that ever sucked balls. It was a sucky ball sucking ball sucker that sucks balls. As far as ball sucking goes, tonight sucked the most balls I've ever seen a ball sucker suck. In case you haven't already guessed, tonight wasn't that great... except at ball sucking.

But what made this sucky ball sucking ball sucker that sucks balls suck so many balls? I'll tell you what! AIDS! That's right, if this night didn't have AIDS it would've sucked a lot less balls (ironically it was probably the excessive amounts of ball sucking that gave it AIDS in the first place). What also would've reduced it's ball-suckiness is if the excact opposite of what I'm about to say happened, meaning what I'm about to say actually added to the ball-suckiness. My hair was nothing more than a matted up piece of natural dready turd prior to tonight. Sara spent ages brushing and cutting the dreads out of my hair, ending up with about half of what was on my head in a plastic bag (seriously, I'm not exaggerating. You could make a wig with what she ripped out). With my hair half as thick and nearly a foot shorter, it was time for 'ol Lauren to bust out the trusty hair straightener and get to work. The plan was for me to get my hair all detangled, straightened, and then after town we were going to cut it all off (kinda defeats the purpose of detangling and straightening I know, but that was half the fun). So I was under the impression that everyone was going into town tonight as is usually the case with Wednesdays, oh but how wrong I was! I'd told all my non-residential friends that I'd be out with my fandangled new doo so they were all out waiting for me, but no-one here wanted to go out, leaving me without any transportation! Luckily, the sultry Serina Paradise (sorry if I mis-spelt your name darling) was also going out tonight and had aranged a ride with Nick, although they weren't leaving till 11 or so.

At around 10:30, the uber-drunk Jennah and crew came stumbling around, yelling at the top of her lungs and showing everyone her newly purchased clockwork "wanking gorilla". 30 agonising minutes, 1 toppled toilet roll tower (we'd been working on it all semester, there's like 30 used toilet rolls, which when you think about it is a scary figure seeing the four of us have only been living here for around seven weeks... I suspect Andrew the fat four-eyed asian goes through like three rolls a week... and that's just gross), and 5 or 6 "I'm gunna spew"'s later, I get a message from Mandi asking where I was. I replied telling her I was still waiting for Nick to finish work. A few seconds later, just as Nick is ready to go, I get another message telling me they're all leaving! I message back telling them I'm on my way, but when I get there it turned out they'd already buggered off and the place was dead. With no-one there but Nick and Serina Paradise (who obviously hadn't planned for me to be there), I decided to make the long walk home as I'd done so many times before.

Through snow and ash, barefoot I walked for thousands of miles in the dead of night, with not even a sliver of a moon to guide my way. For years I fought off bears, wolves, sharks, aardvarks and porcupines in a constant battle for survival, and within my own head I waged war to maintain my sanity. As you can guess, it was a particularly joyous walk.

So now I'm home after decades of wandering (though it seemed to pass in no more than an hour), alive enough to pass on this message of hope to you all... never trust an aardvark. One offered me a lift and he ended up taking me back to where I started... the bastard...

Choosday

2005-08-30T21:05:00.000+10:00

Eyooo hooo! It's t-t-tuesday already, and you know what that means!? I sure don't...

Twas a spooooooky morning today, where I was awoken with quite a fright! I heard something bang in my room at around 8:40am and when I got up to check it out I found out what it was (and also what it wasn't, a magic genie that'd come to grant me three wishes, my first wish of course would've been unlimited wishes). I keep a film canister with a die in it up on my shelf (a few years back I briefly followed that live-by-the-dice fad, then I realised it was stupid... and the fact that I'd always end up rolling the option that I didn't want to do), and it had somehow fallen off my shelf and banged on my desk. I was quite befuddled as you could imagine. My window was closed so the breeze couldn't have blown it off, I didn't intentionally knock it off (in a literal sense, not a euphamism for theivery), and my shelf's way too high for a mouse to get up there and knock it. In my drowsy morning state I actually considered the fact it may have been God trying to wake me up for my class (although I wish he gave me more time to get ready... little punk. I smash you God! )

Anyway, I went back to sleep, and when I woke up again (around 1pm) I saw a mouse dart across my floor and under my bed! So it would seem a mouse can reach my shelf! This calls for more experiments... but firstly I jumped out of bed and lifted my bed up onto it's side. There was no way this feline was going to excape me! I searched high and low for it... but unfortunatly It labelled me a liar, as it had escaped. Blast it!

Drunk with the sorrow of defeat, I decided to sober up with a nice bowl of Corn Flakes (not like that other lousy bowl...). Afterwards I waltzed back into my room (although It took a while to get there as my partner was leading as well as being non-existant) and who should I spot cowering under my desktop? I'll give you a hint: it starts with "m" and ends in "ouse"... You guess it! My primary school nemesis Mitchell House!
"Ha!" I said, "I see you've returned!"
"Please Jerram, I'm sorry I made you eat that dirt sandwich, the guilts been killing my these past fifteen years!" He then burst into tears. "My wife left me, my kids moved out, my dog bit me... I've tried to kill myself on several occasions... please forgive me!"
I pondered for a bit. This man's life was obviously in tatters... then again he did make me eat that dirt sandwich. It was a hard decision, but in the end I think it was the right one.

I went to my kitchen and grabbed a rusty bread knife I'd been saving for this very moment. I returned to my room where I stabbed Mitchell in the throat several times before proceeding to saw through his jugular. In the end, I couldn't take his screaming anymore, so I stabbed him through the back puncturing both his lungs making it impossible for him to squeeze any air out of them. The screaming ceased though was replaced by ample ejaculations of crimson blood from both his mouth and the now gaping hole in his throat. It flowed quite smoothly, and was very beautiful. Whilst I watched the blood pump from his arteries I felt myself becoming increasingly aroused. Mitchell was suffocating in his own blood and would soon pass away. I took this opportunity to hack into his chest with my rusty knife so I could jack off to the last few pumps of his failing heart. I couldn't get through his ribcage with my knife alone, and I began to fear I might miss the whole show as Mitchell had already passed out from blood loss. In a fit of desperation, I tore away at the flesh with my teeth, exposing the two or three ribs directly avove his heart. I tried to crack through the ribs with my teeth but the surrounding fat and cartilage was too elastic and refused to break. I had only one option left. I fiercly drove the knife into his stomach and sawed as fast as I could. His stomach and intestines popped out into my lap but I had no time for a snack so I kept on cutting, my arm now deep inside Mitchell's chest cavity trying to hack though the multitude of tendons and arteries holding that heart in place. It was no good, my knife was no match for those tough tendons. In the end I had to result to gripping his heart whilst it was still inside his body. Was is still pumping? It was! But only just, I had no more than a minute before it stopped completly. Not wanting to waste any more time I quickly snapped his neck allowing my throbbing hard cock easy access to his gaping throat hole. I plowed that esophagus hard and fast, with an intense climactic orgasm just as his heart pumped it's final pump. Exhausted from the assisted suicide I started to consume the gizzards I'd been too busy with to deal with before... then I saw that mouse again!

I quickly cleaned up and stored Mitchell's remains in the freezer for later, then set to work on constructing the ultimate mouse trap of doom! I cut the head off a two litre cola bottle and inverted it, making a sort of funnel in which the mouse could get in, but not out. As of yet the mouse is still at large.

I took a photo of Mitch for you.
Mitch.
Todays post was brought to you by the words: sadistic fuck

Profile Question 3

2005-08-30T15:33:00.000+10:00

Q: If mud is dirt plus water, what is clay?

A: According to the Collins Gem Australian English dictionary, clay is: n. fine-grained earth, soft when moist and hardening when baked, used to make bricks and pottery. -clayey adj. -clay pidgeon n. baked clay disc hurled into the air as a target for shooting.

On a more scientific note, the difference between mud and clay is the plate-like shape of clay particles, very thin but elongated in two dimensions, and very small, of the order of one-thousandth of a millimeter in length. Because of the high surface area this shape has, it allows tiny water molecules in to bond the plates together, but also allows them to slide, giving the clay its elasticity.

It's chemical composition is more or less the same as all rocks on Earth, consisting of silicon, aluminum and iron oxides. A general formula for clay, considering it to be a mineral, is Al2 O3. 2SiO2. 2H2O. Here the water contained is actually within the clay particles, other water molecules adsorb to the particle surfaces when clay is wetted. Clay takes up so much adsorbed water that when it is plastic enough to shape, it will be about one- fourth water. But all that added water only increases the volume by about 5%.

Refrences:
Davis, T.N. (1981) Stoneware Pottery. Alaska Science Forum [online] Available: http://www.gi.alaska.edu/ScienceForum/ASF5/515.html Accessed 30 August 2005

Profile Question 2

2005-08-30T15:04:00.000+10:00

Q: If your whole body were a hot air balloon, would you stop eating spicy food?

A: Well the obvious answer would be yes. If my whole body was a hot air ballon I'd have no mouth for which the spicy food could enter into my also non-existant stomach. In fact, I can't imagine I'd be eating any food at all, for many reasons; the first being the one I just mentioned; also the fact that I wouldn't be alive (having no brain, pulse or any internal organs) and therefore would be in no need of any form of sustenance; and thirdly I'd be much too big to go to the supermarket and actually buy my food.

Considering only my body were a hot air balloon, what would become of my soul (I'm talking from a Christian perspective here, I know all you athiests just got fired up at the very mention of a "soul")? Acording to Christian ethos my soul should leave my earthly vessel once it dies (the body, not the soul). Would the same thing be true should my body become that of an inanimate object, say a fork, or a hot air balloon? Certainly makes you think. Also, what form would my soul take? I've seen a lot of movies and from what I've heard they're all true, and in those movies Heaven (and Hell) is full of humanoid souls wandering up and down the Pearly Gates because that damn Saint Peter is too "righteous" to take a damn bribe! But seriously... would I become some sort of angelic air balloon? That'd certainly be novel. Or maybe I'd become some sort of collaboration between all my earthly forms, both my human form and my air balloon one... man I could make a pretty penny doing Marlon Brando impersonations!

Say... this body-as-hot-air-balloon idea's starting to sound pretty good... point me towards the nearest mad scientist with a PhD in human-balloon genetics!

Sweet Monday...

2005-08-29T22:37:00.000+10:00

Ah Mondays... I love 'em. No classes... netball at night... Mythbusters! What's not to love? Actually, Monday did cheat on me that one time... filthy skank... but all's forgiven. Like I always say, "Don't forget to floss!", but closer to the point, "Life's too short to hold grudges". Also, I half agree with the old parable (not quite the word I was searching for, but it'll suffice. Hit me with a comment if you know the word) "Forgive and forget". I'm all for forgiveness, but what good comes from forgetting? If you forget the incident, nothing has been learned. I prefer "Forgive, but never forget". This way you can get on with your life and have the knowledge of how future situations can be avoided. What this has to do with Mondays, you tell me. Perhaps the word "forgive" was invented on a Monday, I don't know, clearly I'm not a cobbler... if I was, my shoes would be hole free (which they are, but that doesn't nessecarily mean I'm a cobbler myself. Perhaps I've had them mended by a proffesional cobbler, perhaps my shoes are fairly new and haven't worn through yet. Either way, how should I know? I'm clearly not a candlestick maker).

The first half on this Monday was great, and involved sleep.

The second half was fairly so-so, from the bad bowl of Corn Flakes I had at 1:30pm (the bastard tried to steal my wallet), to our 5th (or maybe 6th, who's counting? Not me obviously. I'm not a cobbler) consecutive loss in netball at around 10pm. Now I'm sure you're all wondering about the Corn Flakes, but honestly there's not much to tell, apart from the obvious facts that they were both corny and flakey, and later became milky (ok so perhaps the milkiness wasn't that obvious as I hadn't previously specified that I'd added milk to the concoction). I spent the remainder of the afternoon reading random blogs in an attempt to escape from the plethora of university assignments piling up. A friend suggested to me back in '76 that burying your head in the sand until it all blows over is a good way to escape your problems in life, but not wanting to get sand in my vagina it's a remedy I've avoided... although I've recently learned that boys don't have vaginas, and even if they did they probably wouldn't be on their heads. But still, as I have only one head I may not be a boy as I had thought these past seven weeks, and so I think it'd be best to just avoid the head-in-sand-sticking altogether (if you don't get that joke, check the grammar of the previous sentence). I did manage to get through one assignment though. It took me a whole hour! It's times like these I wish I was a cobbler...

The second half was fairly so-so... oh wait, I've already done this paragraph.

The second... sorry, did it again. Let me find my place...

So that about wraps up my Monday. My favourite part was when the donkey was playing basketball, but you just read all about that in the last seven paragraphs so I won't bother repeating myself, but man that was funny wasn't it! I mean who'd have thought a donkey could've made that shot... unbelievable. Anyway, I've been typing for long enough already so I'll say my goodbyes in the manner of a bilingual Chinaman: Auf wiedersehn!

N.B. There was a sad lack of Donkey Konga today, which is the perfect segue for this photo.

(Ok so maybe that segue was a little flawed... but just a little)

Todays blog was brought to you by the words: Cobbler and Chinaman

The Day After Last

2005-08-28T21:04:00.000+10:00

Howdy troops, me again (duh, like who else would it be?). Anywho, thought I'd give you the heads up on how my Sunday's been... I assure you it'll be riveting reading.

Chapter 1: The visit from the Old Olds

Yes, the old olds (ie grandparents) have been up in QLD for a bit and thought they'd stop in and take me out to din dins. We went to the bowling club in Park Beach... I had a macadamia crumbed chicked breast with honey mustard sauce. It was awesome, but quite small... I had to later fill my tummy with a mexican pizza sub, which was also quite good. Before that though, they took me grocery shopping as I have little food, and with the amount of money I'm spending on booze these days, food has become somewhat of a luxury. It was great, I shan't have to shop for at least a fortnight.

Chapter 2: The Girl with the Bold Purple font

Yeah, you know the one... Taryn. I suppose you're wondering what may or may not have happened to her... well this afternoon I got a message from her. Aparantly the reason she never messaged sooner was because she had no credit, which is fair enough. Also, turns out that she has a boyfriend already! Well, once again my love life has suffered at the hands of Father Time... I must have some sort of "bad timing curse". Still, it was good to get some closure on that issue. The worst part though, is that she isn't gunna play netball with us either! That crazy broad...

Chapter 3: My arse

It's hairy.

And that's about all there is to tell for today... apart from the fact that I slept in till one and made no progress at all on either of the two assignments that I have due on Friday (neither of which I've started)... I'm in one of those moods where you just feel like doing nothing... a very dangerous mood to be in at this point in time.

Also, my apologies for the significant lack of humour in this post... kinda comes with the whole I'm-not-in-the-mood-for-anything mood... as does a drop in Donkey Konga skill.

Profile Question 1

2005-08-28T20:27:00.000+10:00

Q: Do you believe that forks are evolved from spoons?

A: First up, that sentence is a grammatical nightmare and whoever wrote it should go back to school. The word "evolved" can be used as either a verb (eg. fish evolved into reptiles) or an adjective (eg. a reptile is an evolved fish, or a shape that is composed of smaller vesions of itself). If the word "evolved" was intended to be used as a verb, the question should've been: "Do you believe that forks have evolved from spoons?"; or alternatly as an adjective: "Do you believe that forks are evolved spoons?".

Secondly, assuming the question was supposed to be asking one of the corrections above, I would say "Hmm, an interesting question indeed, and certainly a valid theory... if of course you're an idiot!". Evolution is the continuation of beneficial genetic traits of a living creature from one generation to the next. A spoon is not alive, and therefore cannot pass on its genetic traits to its offspring. If anything, it was man who evolved to comprehend the idea of a fork (assuming that the fork did indeed come AFTER the spoon).

Welcome!

2005-08-28T03:10:00.000+10:00

Howdy kidlets, sunshines and/or chiefs, and welcome to the Wickety Whack Rubber Glove Feel Good Blog of the New Millenium (sadly the whole title wouldn't fit... but you get that don't you, huh punk!?)!

So then, what's pop'n in the blog'n you ask? Well first up, don't ever say that again, you sound retarded (though if you actually ARE retarded, all's forgiven). Secondly... not much at all... I saw my friends blog and thought "Yes, that's pointless." and like all crazes today, the more pointless the better. But, since I'm a contradicting non-conformist, I decided to start up a blog as it does have a point to it, that point being a way to vent your feelings to the world and know that you're too insignificant for anyone to actually take notice of them... ahh, the internet... what can't she do.

So, with all the hoo-dilly out of the way, time for me to rant about my personals that no-one will take notice of but myself.

Let's take it all the way back to last Wednesday night. After indulging ourselves in the feel good magic that is Donkey Konga, my roomies and fellow resi-buddies head'd on down to the Platois (yes, I'm a fake French ninny). Apart from being a Wednesday night, it was also Steve - aka Jack Osbourne - 's birthday, and the whole crew was out, with the exception of young Mandette, who was unfortunatly eaten by a porcupine the previous spring... did I say porcupine? I meant she had tonsilitis... also her name is Mandi and it wasn't last spring, it was just a few days ago.

Anywho, as the story goes, Jeeves and myself were sipping martinis by the fire, exhausted from our rousing rendition of "Loco-motion", when a lovely young woman rocked up under the arm of fellow sportsman Brenton. Her name was Taryn. A dainty lass, nigh on five foot six, hair gold like the sun, teeth... well she had nice hair. To cut a long story short, we ended up hooking up and sharing a cab home, and Taryn came along for the ride with us.

Thursday went by without incident.

Then came the elusive Friday, elusive I say as it is the last day of the working week, and one might assume that when the names of the passing rotations of the Earth were being handed out, Friday was not to be found (for he was possibly prying the remains of the deceased Buttday from the jaws of a porcupine). But Friday had been found (as had Wally) and Friday night was upon us, the night that was sure to be (at least in appearance) from twenty years ago. Yes, your assumptions are correct, it was Lauren and Cara's 80's themed birthday party. People everywhere were dressed in the get-up of the specified decade, although there was some confusion about the century as I was the only one in pantaloons. Not wanting to look anachronistic I promptly changed my attire.

I had sent Taryn an invitation via my automated telephonometer, albeit she did not reply. Afterwards we made yet another journey to the Planto for further celebrations of the annual festivity of Lauren and Cara's births, and shortly after who should walk in but the lovely Taryn herself! I moseyed on over to say my greetings, but she didn't seem as thrilled to see me as I'd hoped. I asked her why she hadn't responded to my invitation and she replied with a comment about her phone being eaten by a porcupine. She then proceeded to the lavatory, and that was the last thing I heard from her all night.

It's now Saturday night (or more precicely, Sunday morning) and I'm writing an introductory blog, as you no doubt would have assumed. So I'll leave you with a nice picture of the crazy 80's party. Adios muchachos!

Todays blog was brought to you by the words: porcupine and lavatory.